FemDom by any other name

I got to thinking it might be a good idea to restate what may (or may not) seem to some to be the obvious. Quite a few terms are bandied about when it comes to this particular mindset or lifestyle. Below I’ve listed some of the ones I’ve seen, and I’m sure there are more. In my mind, they all pretty much mean the same thing: the male submits to the authority of a dominant female. Our blog is about this dynamic taking place in a marriage; thus, I would fine tune it by saying “male submission to a loving, dominant female”

Unfortunately all marriages do not necessarily include the L-word. Ours however includes lots of it, so that descriptor works for us quite well. For me, the love element, more so than any other aspect of this lifestyle, is most important. There are some men for whom the need to be dominated by a woman is so strong, that if for one reason or another this need is not satisfied by the wife, they will seek it outside the marriage. I’m not one of those guys.

  • Female Authority
  • Loving Female Authority
  • Caring Female Authority
  • FemDom
  • Female Domination
  • Female-Led Relationship
  • Wife-Led Relationship
  • Wife-Led Marriage

I suspect the term people shy away from more than any other is the term FemDom, which is shorthand for female domination. Undoubtedly this is because it conjures up images of a leather-clad, whip-wielding dominatrix doing all sorts of humiliating things to her male submissive. The nasty D-word is the culprit. By definition, the word is threatening. If you take the word out of the equation, things begin to take on a decidedly less threatening shade of blue… or is that black/blue. In fact, since women seem to have a way of ending up controlling most marriages, descriptors such as “Female-Led Relationship” begin to sound downright mainstream.

My advice is not to get too hung up on the terms themselves. Goddess V does not dress up in leather and whip me senseless until I’m reduced to a quivering mass of humiliated pond scum. Yet I have no problem referring to our relationship as one that is FemDom based. After all, Goddess V is a female and she does assume a dominant role to which I submit. Bingo. Whatever else our relationship may or may not include, the term FemDom is perfectly appropriate.

~ by veezknight on August 27, 2009.

One Response to “FemDom by any other name”

  1. I think ‘loving’ is incredibly important – I’ve always thought that the closest other feeling to the thrill of power exchange is a teenage crush – you know when you fancied her, but didn’t want to admit it and she was the same. In that pre-first-kiss courtship-dance you both felt vulnerable and excited, because you knew the other person had power over you. It was delicious, and was probably the reason I lost interest in so many early relationships after the first kiss. The thrill of dominance is to recreate that tension over and over again.

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