The Dreaded S-Word
Just when I’ve grown to think it is okay to use the term submissive to describe part of who I am as a husband, I’ve recently read suggestions in the Venus On Top forum where perhaps a man would be well advised to avoid using the s-word, especially when approaching his wife about her taking leadership of their relationship. It would seem, according to some of the dominant women in the group, that the s-word conjures in the mind of a woman, connotations of a spineless, jellyfish of a man, lacking in self-respect and devoid of the mettle to defend and protect her against that which might harm or dishonor her.
Not that it’s not okay to submit to a woman’s opinion, authority or leadership. Just don’t refer to it as being submissive. Compliant and subordinate have been half-heartedly offered as substitutes. Okay in a pitch I guess, but they don’t quite get the message across. Do they? One dominant woman suggests using the word uxorious. Now there’s a neat word. I like it because it’s a word you don’t hear much these days. But what the hell does it mean?
“Honey, I’ve been thinking that I’d like to be more uxorious.”
“Ux-what? What the hell does that mean?”
“Well, it means being fond of one’s wife.”
“And you’re not fond of me now?”
“Of course I am, but it means being, well, excessively fond of you.”
“Excessive? As in too fond of me?”
“No, I don’t mean it that way.”
“Then why don’t you just say that you mean.”
“Never mind. I’ll look it up for myself.
Uxorious: Having or showing an excessive or submissive fondness for one’s wife.
“Oh, I see. In other words, you want to be submissive to me.”
I think it’s interesting the dictionary uses the word submissive to help define the meaning of uxorious. Damn s-word. Okay, let’s pretend the definition is simply: excessive fondness. Hmmm, exactly how much fondness for one’s wife is “excessive?” Can a man ever be too fond of his wife? And what about that female authority and leadership thing. Where in the definition of uxorious does it mention yielding or sub… oops, I mean acquiescing to a wife’s authority?
Submissive: (one definition) ready to conform to the will or authority of another
Submit: accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person
It seems to me that you may use whatever euphemism you wish, but the s-word hits the nail on the head more squarely than any other. It does for me anyway. I am submissive to Goddess V. I want and like to submit to her authority. BUT, and this is where I think some people get too caught up in the semantics of our language, this is not the only word that describes who I am as a man. First off, my submissive nature largely extends to one person only, the woman I love (walk up to me and tell me to kiss your ass and see what kind of reaction you get). Secondly, there are many other facets and qualities that comprise my personality. Obviously this is true for every man. No one word, be it the s-word or one of a thousand other words, can fully describe who a man is, as a person, as a husband, as a father.