She Makes the Rules

In case you’re not aware, the Venus On Top Yahoo forum I’ve mentioned here in the past is no longer functional. But that’s not bad news because it’s been replaced by a brand new free website that is only a few weeks old and already has 1000+ members. Called She Makes the Rules, it’s run by the same moderators who were in charge of VOT. Barbara Wright Abernathy, who founded VOT, is supportive but no longer directly involved. The purpose of the site is to provide a non-threatening introduction to female-led relationships and loving female authority. Toward that end, the moderators do not allow any posts or photos that are too over the top. However, they allow far more latitude regarding some of the kinkier issues often associated with female domination than was ever the case with VOT.

Unfortunately, it’s looking more and more as if Around Her Finger has gone into cyber limbo. The Addison’s website hasn’t changed in years, and now the blog on which they faithfully posted new letters each and every month, has remained static since April. Not a good sign. So if you are in the process of adopting an FLR, or are looking for a non-threatening venue to help introduce the lifestyle to your spouse, She Makes the Rules is now just about the only game in town. Becoming an SMTR member is a must.

So check it out. You’ll find discussions on all sorts of topics and you can create your own forum topic as well. And if you are single, there’s a section in which you can place a personal ad to help you meet a dominant or submissive partner. I’ve added a link in the Additional Resources section at right.

Update June 12th:
Happily, the Around Her Finger Q/A blog run by Ken & Emily Addison is still in operation. The link is listed at right.

Update June 28th
She Makes the Rules has now been up for 8 weeks and already has 1500 members. Of course you always have your share of lurkers and those who join but never return, but so far discussions on this forum are first-rate. It’s obvious the moderators are spending an enormous amount of time ensuring SMTR is both a success and non-threatening as possible to new-comers. If you are interested enough in Loving Female Authority to be reading this blog, then you really should be a member of SMTR.

12 thoughts on “She Makes the Rules

  1. I just checked the AHF site a few minutes ago, it is now updated and a brief explanation of the delay.

  2. Around Her Finger is very much up and running. They may not change the content of the main site much, but they do post monthly letters. For personal reasons they missed May (first missed month in several years). But June is now up.

    I think it’s true that there are too few sane (moderate) resources for support on this topic…but it’s quite a stretch to suggest that She Makes the Rules is the only game in town. Let’s see how the group is doing 2 or 3 years from now – it’s tough to keep this sort of forum going.

  3. I feel compelled to comment that in some cases FemDom MAY include cuckolding. However, FemDom and cuckolding do NOT necessary go together. A relationship/marriage can easily be 100% female-led without including cuckolding.

    Based on what we read in forums and on blogs and in talking with people in this lifestyle, it does seem that the practice of cuckolding is gaining in popularity. But this could simply be that people are more willing to talk about this very personal aspect of their relationship. Nonetheless, more Femdom and female-led relationships do NOT include cuckolding than do.

    I would also be remiss if I did not point out that neither the Addisons on AHF nor the moderators of SMTR openly advocate cuckolding in any way.

  4. A Female Led Relationship is an amazing thing, I agree with you that FemDom and Cuckolding do not necessarily go together. The FemDom aspect of the relationship takes a lot of work, without any further complications. I almost believe that cuckolding is an advanced option for folks in female led relationships. I am in a Female Led Marriage and I love it, we are working out the bugs and have discussed cuckolding quite a bit. We both believe it is something we want to do later, after we are more secure. For those who never do it, as long as their happy that is great, but for those who choose to go that route, I can only imagine how empowering that is for the wife and how submissive that makes the husband. I hope to experience it one day, but right now it is someting that seems far off.

  5. I joined She Makes the Rules in its early days. On a forum for men only (submissive men, of course), I asked whether there was anyone like me, totally against being a slave and unwilling to submit totally, but happy to defer to the authority of a strong and loving woman. Men responded that if I were a true submissive, I would want to serve and adore my lady without limits. I am paraphrasing, of course. The two women who responded were the ladies in charge of the site. One of them scolded me and the other kicked me off the site.

    • That’s sad. I dig my wife being tough and in charge. She gets turned off by submission, and while she demands the last word, she wants me to say my piece and always takes it into consideration. I think SMTR misses the point that Barbara Abernathy tried to make, that LR is a good thing for certain couples to bring them closer. Her idea was too good for most folks, she was, like most people with great ideas, too smart for most pople to get.

  6. I lurked on SMTR doe a few months amd the arrogant rudeness of the owners/moderators was amazing. It’s clear that most of them don’t like men. I would be very reluctant to try a relationship with one. Only a vanilla woman who has love for a man would be my choice.
    , to try to build a FLR. I found that site informative, but in a very negative way.

  7. I am dreaming of becoming a girly husband. Get married to a tall and strong woman. I would love to wear dresses and skirts and nighties. also lipstick nail polish ans all that.Call her my husband

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